When I Grow Up or If I Could Change The World...

I'm at that stage with uni now where people expect me to have a reasonably solid career path in mind. It doesn't help that I have had no real experience in the IT industry and my ideal career, being a professional musician, doesn't cut it because frankly I'm nowhere near good enough to make in that exclusive sphere. So I've found myself thinking "What do I had REALLY want to do?"

I always remember people asking me a lot at pre-school when I was 4 what I wanted to be when I grew up. My friends always said cool stuff like a movie star, or a fireman, or a policeman, or a singer, or an All Black. I didn't really want to be any of those so I always said the alternative - "I want to do what my Dad does. Be a database administrator!" (Since I am currently taking a database administration class at uni I now know I REALLY don't want to do this!) What I really wanted to do was something I didn't know how to describe at the time. I've never been great with words, which is something my mum has tried very hard to change (and the fact that I'm writing a blog right now shows that it has worked to some degree). However as I got older I managed to put some words together which kinda semi-describe my aspiration and so I've decided I want to be Someone Who Makes A Difference.

I always thought it sounded kinda strange and noncommittal but at the end of last year our youth pastor at church took over as senior pastor (thankfully not with the military coups I've seen happen in friends' churches!) and in his final message to the youth he said something I found very interesting. He spoke about how he had never considered a career in 'the ministry' and had done the usual school, uni, job thing but through that he had just had a feeling that he was meant to do something bigger. So he would try to run prayer meetings and outreaches and was involved with a lot of things at church like the music team and the youth group. Eventually he was asked to take on the role of full time youth pastor. Thats kinda skipping a lot and simplifying it a bit but you get the picture...

Anyway it made me think about my wanting to be Someone Who Makes A Difference and about how, partly to try and start Making A Difference, I am, or have been, involved with the music team, youth group, and Sunday School at church as well as some community groups, and how I tried to run a prayer meeting at uni last year. Even more than that it made me think about how I sometimes feel like most people are just living to have fun, make money, or both and how much I really don't want to do that. It's not that I think that's evil but that it just feels empty to me.

So what does this making a difference look like? Well to be honest I have no idea. I've just got to trust that God can take this music loving nerd from South Auckland and use him to Make A Difference. I guess this is at least partly why I love Bible stories like Isaiah, Esther, and Timothy - I love seeing how God can take someone, who seems to stick out a bit but wants to make a difference, and used them powerfully in unbelievable ways. Maybe one day he'll do that for me...